The Dark and Winding Road
by DaronwyK
Summary: AU: Severus Snape does not cast the fatal blow at the end of Half Blood Prince. Severus can finally fulfill his promise to Lily and protect her son, the only way he knows how.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All characters and universe are the property of JK Rowling, this fanfiction is purely for entertainment purposes and I receive no profit from it.

Author's Note and Warnings : This fan fiction is Cannon up to the moment of Dumbledore's death. I am rating it M for possible slash in later chapters as well as dark themes. I look forward to exploring the dark side of magic and hope you all enjoy the ride.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Harry splashed water on his face, feeling extremely ill to his stomach. Dumbledore was dead and he'd been forced to watch it happen. Draco hadn't hesitated, just aimed and uttered the curse. He had seen Snape's face in the dark, the pain that flashed across it and then the shock as Bellatrix had turned her wand on the Professor. He had thrown the invisibility cloak aside, feeling the Petrificus curse release him and gone to Snape's aide.

The man in question was sitting on the end of a bed in hospital wing, talking in hushed tones to Minerva. Harry, for his part, felt almost numb. Tonight had been for nothing, the bloody horcrux hadn't even been there. He felt the rage bubble up in his chest and slammed his fist into the glass, feeling it shatter and slice into his flesh. He heard footsteps but he didn't pay any heed, his magic swirling dangerously through the room. It wasn't fair! All of this had been for nothing. NOTHING!

Severus felt it and his head lifted instantly. "Minerva, get Poppy and wait outside." He said and moved towards the teen that was caught in a swirl of wild magic. He took a deep breath and approached, casting a shielding charm around himself, just in case. He put his hands on the boy's shoulders. "Harry." He said forcefully, trying to get his attention and forestall the explosion he could feel building.

"WHY?" Harry choked out, tears starting to fall. The magic exploded outwards, shattering windows and throwing things aside and then it was simply gone as the boy collapsed into a fit of wracking sobs.

Severus dropped his shielding charm and just stayed there, an anchor for the boy. He had no idea how long the teen sobbed into the sink, but when he finally settled down Severus gently steered the young man to sit down. "Let me see your hand." He said softly and took it carefully removing a large piece of glass from one of the cuts. He then used a spell to remove the rest and applied a salve and wrapped the hand. "There was nothing you could have done tonight to save him." Severus said softly.

"But it was all for nothing..." He whispered. "How could he die?"

"The minute he drank that potion Harry, his fate was sealed. Even with my help, he would not have survived the night." Severus said gently. He had created that poison for the Dark Lord; he knew all too well the effects of it. "He knew he was going to die tonight, it was just never supposed to be Draco who cast the curse." He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "He's been fading all year, since he attempted to destroy the Gaunt family ring in the summer. He wanted to teach you what he could before he passed."

"How can I find the other horcruxes? I don't even know where to start." He felt utterly hopeless. It was even worse than in his third year when he'd been plagued by Dementors, he felt cold right through his very soul.

"I will help you Mr. Potter. You have my word." The potions master said without thinking too hard on it. If Bellatrix had tried to kill him, the order would have needed to come from the Dark Lord himself. The proverbial line had been drawn in the sand. His old mentor had finally decided to cut the last tie between them. His little dance between the two greatest wizards of the age was at an end, finally.

Harry nodded, meeting the Potion Master's dark eyes. "If I'm here, I'll be putting everyone in the castle at risk. With the headmaster dead, Voldemort will come after me." He knew it, with frightening certainty. People would die if he stayed here.

"Yes, he will." Severus stood. "Go to your friends in Gryffindor Tower; make sure they are all in one piece after tonight's events. Then, once they are all asleep, use that map of yours to find my chambers. There are things we must discuss, and plans we must make." The Potions Master felt older than his years, weary. The safety of Lily's son was now his only calling, and to save him he would need to teach him to fight fire with fire.

"Yes Sir." He said quietly. "I know we don't get on Sir, but he trusted you...the least I can do is extend that same trust." He offered him a hand, looking older than his sixteen years would have suggested.

Severus reached over and took that hand, gripping it firmly. "Be careful in offering trust Mr. Potter, there are few in this world truly worthy of it." He then let go and swept out of the Hospital Wing. Minerva and Poppy went in to check on Harry and he continued down to the dungeons.

Once in his quarters he poured himself a very large glass of fire-whiskey and downed it in a single go. He then poured another and collapsed into his chair. He knew it would take hours for Potter to get his friends settled after all that had transpired this evening. He had some time to try and talk himself out of this madness. He simply had to be out of his mind to even be considering taking Lily Potter's son down this path. Dumbledore had forbidden him to teach the boy, claiming that the Dark Arts would taint the child and damage him beyond repair. 'Because raising him like a lamb for slaughter was really in his best bloody interests.' He thought uncharitably. He knew all too well what learning the Dark Arts entailed, he'd delved deep into those depths...far deeper than even Albus had known. Oh yes, if Albus had truly known he would never have allowed him so close to his precious students.

His mentor had seen his natural predisposition and had taken him into his power, forging and tempering him like a well-honed blade. He'd felt that same raw power tonight in Potter, he could still feel it ringing against his own. All young witches and wizards could display moments of raw magic, though it usually quieted down as they approached adulthood, but there was a feel to Harry's power that was achingly familiar to him. It was a power that begged to be directed and challenged. He hastily swallowed back the rest of his glass and set it down beside him. If he was really going to do this, take Potter as his student in *this*, he would do it properly. Elements save them both, but he would.

He got up and went to his bedroom and took a small plain wooden chest out of his wardrobe. He cast several disarming spells before he opened it and removed the contents it had been protecting. He carried them out to his sitting room and cleared his coffee table with a muttered charm. On its now barren surface he laid a silver bowl, a dagger, an amulet on a heavy silver chain, and lastly a quill and parchment. The potions master then settled in to wait. Potter would come, of that he had absolutely no doubt.

Hours passed before there was a knock at his door. Severus flicked his wand and the door swung open to allow the young wizard entrance. He sat up in his chair and blinked the sleepiness from his eyes. "I trust all of your friends are all right?" He asked, watching the Potter boy closely. He was trying hard to judge him without the ghost of James floating in front of him. He would need to be objective if they were both to survive this.

"Yes, I shared my liquid luck with them tonight." Harry said and shut the door behind him as he walked deeper into the room. It was nothing like Snape's personal lab that he'd spent his disastrous Occlumency lessons in. His professor was sitting in an overstuffed chair by the fire, opposite a matching chair that was empty. There was a coffee table between the chairs and Harry's eyes went over the contents curiously.

Severus found himself nodding approvingly. "It may well have saved their lives tonight, five points to Gryffindor for good judgement." He found himself awarding the points without feeling too badly about it. "Sit Potter, would you like a drink? Given the night you've had, I think we can bend some school rules." He stood and poured the teenager a small measure of the fire-whiskey. "Sip, don't gulp." He warned and sat back down.

Harry seemed in shock that Snape had awarded him points, and was being civil. "Uh...thank you, Sir." He managed to say and took a sip of the liquid, blinking as it burned the back of his throat. He couldn't help but cough and he felt his eyes water a bit.

Severus's eyes glittered a bit, amused to watch the teen take his first real drink. He'd been far younger than that when he'd started raiding his father's scotch. "All right there Potter?" He asked, not hiding his amusement. It was nearly four in the morning; he blamed his lack of control on that.

"Yes sir, just a bit...strong." He said and cleared his throat. "You said we needed to discuss some things Sir?" He asked, the dark shadows gathering under his eyes betrayed just how exhausted the boy was.

"Yes. My question to you is how far are you willing to go to defeat the Dark Lord." Severus said, dark eyes piercing into Harry's. He didn't mince words, this was too important for there to be any doubt about what he was asking.

Harry sensed there was a lot unsaid in that statement, but he also knew it was a test. He sipped the whiskey again; it didn't burn so much this time. "As far as it takes. He murdered my parents and for that alone I'd do anything to kill him." The bitterness in his tone dripped like poison as he spoke. "What did you have in mind?"

Severus nodded. "To fight the Dark Lord, you need to learn what he'll use against you. I'm offering to teach you everything I know, without any limits. If you wish to be my student, I would be honored to be your mentor in this." The words were important.

Harry found himself considering it. "One question first, why now? Why didn't you offer to teach me these things before?" He needed to know.

"I was forbidden to." He said. "The headmaster felt there were things that you shouldn't learn. He had his own plans for you but all I will say is that my only goal is to get you through this alive. I once promised someone that I would protect you, and the best protection I can give you is the knowledge I have." Severus said. "Regardless of your answer I will help you hunt down and destroy the Horcruxes." He made sure that he understood that.

Harry nodded and looked into the fireplace for a long while and then nodded. "I would be honored to be your student." He looked at his Professor.

"Then come here and kneel in front of the coffee table." He said and moved to kneel as well. He reached over and took Harry's hand as soon as he knelt. "In the old days, before most students attended magical schools, the bond between Mentor and Student was considered the most important bond outside of family." He told him as he took the dagger in his other hand. "Even today there are some kinds of magic that can be taught only in this manner. I'm going to cut your palm and then my own. Our blood will be used to seal a magical contract between us, as well as allow me to find you if you are in great peril, or to summon you to me if I need you." Severus could feel the teen's hand tremble a bit as he put pressure on the dagger.

Harry hissed a bit as his skin gave and blood welled up in the wound. He let Snape turn his palm over the silver bowl and after several drops fell he watched as Severus bound his hand in white silk. Harry suddenly found himself in possession of the dagger. Severus offered him his hand and with a few deep breaths he managed to make the cut into his teacher's palm. He copied Snape's earlier motions and added his blood to the silver bowl and then wrapped it in white silk.

Severus smiled encouragingly. He dipped the quill into their mingled blood and wrote his name elegantly on the page and the offered the quill to Harry. Mentally he cringed; the boy's penmanship was simply atrocious. They would be fixing that at some point. He then folded the paper and laid the amulet on top. He took his wand and tapped it twice. "Sanguinis Contractus." He said and the parchment dissolved into a brilliant white light and disappeared into the amulet. Severus took the amulet and placed it over Harry's head, settled it on his chest just over his heart. "Tiro Eligitur." He said the amulet disappeared, white light sinking into Harry's chest.

Harry fell forward, gasping for air. The light hot and felt like it was searing into him. Then suddenly it was gone. "What?" He managed to say, feeling very drained.

"That completed the bond; it takes a lot out of us both." Severus looked quite tired as well. He waved his wand and the items floated out of the sitting room and back into their chest in his bedroom. "Come Mr. Potter, I think we are both in need of some sleep." He stood and offered the young wizard a hand. "You can use the spare bedroom tonight as I don't think you'd make it all the way back to the tower." He was past caring if it seemed inappropriate. Tonight propriety could go fuck itself for all he cared. He'd just completed a very dark ritual in the middle of Hogwarts, having a student spent the night in his quarters seemed rather insignificant in comparison.

"Thank you Sir." Harry said and stood up but had to lean into Snape for support. His legs felt like they were made of rubber. Together they walked down the little hall to the left.

"Bathroom is just there, and this is the guest room. Goodnight Mr. Potter." He said and helped the boy to the bed and then withdrew. "There is a vial of dreamless sleep in the bottom drawer there, I suggest you use it." He added before shutting the door.

Harry sat there a moment before he opened the bottom drawer and found the vial where it lay tucked neatly behind a book. He opened and sniffed it, remembering the smell from the other times he had taken the potion. He drank it back and then slipped out of his cloth and crawled under the blankets, too tired to worry about pajamas. He spelled off the lights and was out cold as soon as his head hit the pillow.

In his room across the hall Severus was also contemplating a vial of dreamless sleep. He hadn't touched the stuff in more than twelve years, having gone through a period of addiction after the death of Lily. 'I'm sorry Lily; there really is no other way. I promise to keep him safe and I will not fail him, like I failed you.' He thought desperately as he took the potion and curled into his bed.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: The usual, not my characters just borrowing them for a while. Again thanks to my Beta Reader, Jucy Sam!

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Severus woke and could feel his student in the other room, if he really concentrated. He got up and after a shower he dressed in his usual robes. Minerva had already instructed the Prefects to keep the students in their dormitories and there was a meeting for the Order soon. He knocked on the guest room door.

"Potter, breakfast is ready." He said and went to his sitting room, a simple breakfast laid out on the table for the two of them. Now, after some rest, he was questioning his actions last night. The taking of a Student was something that should never be done in haste. The bond that came from it was something that never went away. Did he really want to be bound to the spawn of James Potter? He poured himself some coffee, forcibly reminding himself that the eyes that had met his last night were Lily's. He was Lily's son too, and if he was completely honest there was little of James in the boy beyond the physical. Even the physical resemblance was softening as the boy grew. There was a lot of Lily's father in his features now.

The wizard in question came out of the bedroom, in his clothes from last night and sat down across from Snape. "What's going to happen now?" He asked, heartsick and emotionally drained from the tragedy of the night prior.

"Today the students will be sequestered in their dorms, and we will prepare for the Headmaster's funeral. The students will be sent home, for their safety." Severus said, evaluating Harry's state of mind. "How are you managing Mr. Potter?" He asked finally.

Harry shook his head. "I feel...empty." He finally settled on a word. "I know I should be sad, angry, or something but I can't feel anything." It was like there was a wall holding everything in.

Severus nodded. "Try and eat something, it will help. Sometimes the mind protects us from things that we aren't ready to deal with." He said softly. "The numbness will pass in time. Once you've eaten I will escort you back to Gryffindor Tower." He said. "After the funeral you and I will be departing together." He said simply. "Be sure you are packed, and tell no one where you are going. You may wish to advise Miss Granger in particular to go into hiding until this is over. She will be a target, both for being a muggle-born witch as well as being your friend." Severus said.

"You think the Ministry will fall?" Harry said then, getting that feeling.

"They are completely unprepared for this. It is only a matter of time before the Dark Lord seizes control of the ministry." Severus knew it had been one of the Dark Lord's ambitions from the beginning. "Hogwarts itself may well end up under siege, and fall to his power. That is why we must move in secret, and swiftly. No one can know, not your friends, your family, and especially not the Order." Severus pinned the younger man with a hard look. "Now, eat. You will need your strength in the days ahead." He said and fell silent focusing on his food. He knew that on the run they might not always eat this well and the Dark Arts took more energy than common magic.

Harry looked down at his plate and made himself take some oatmeal, toast, eggs, and bacon. He wasn't really hungry, but he wasn't stupid enough to think that Snape had been requesting that he eat. Snape didn't ask, he ordered. He finished his small portion and then had some juice. He sipped it and waited for his professor to finish his meal.

Severus noted just how little the boy ate but chalked it up to the events of the previous evening. "All right, let's return you to your fellow Gryffindors, shall we?" He stood and straightened his robes. He could easily explain the boy's presence in his quarters to Minerva.

"Why can't I tell Ron and Hermione that you're training me?" He asked as they walked the deserted halls. They would figure out something was wrong eventually.

"They cannot accidentally let slip what they do not know." Severus said carefully. He knew it was not a leap to think that the Dark Lord would go after his friends. From experience he knew that under torture, a witch or wizard would say anything to make the pain stop. If they didn't know where Potter was, they could not be compelled to betray him. "I would not ask you to lie to your friends if it was not vitally important. I expect you to abide by my wishes on this. No one can know." He said as they continued through the corridors.

Harry nodded as they came to the Tower. "Yes Sir." He said.

Severus nodded to him. "I will see you after the funeral, just be ready." He left Harry standing by the portrait hole and headed for the Headmaster's office. Minerva wanted to speak to them all there, and discuss the previous night's events.

Harry climbed through the portrait hole and into the common room. Students were sitting in groups around the common room and several had red eyes from crying. Hermione and Ron went over to him and he nodded.

"Where were you?" Ron asked, worry showing on the redhead's face. He'd woken in the middle of the night and seen that Harry's bed was empty.

"I couldn't sleep...Snape found me in the kitchens. We ended up talking about the Headmaster." He said, lying to Ron. He hated doing it but Snape was right, what they didn't know couldn't come back to bite him in the ass. "He walked me back up here, told me to stay in the dorms. He also said that we're all being sent home after Dumbledore's funeral." He told them and guided them off to an empty corner of the room.

"It makes sense." Hermione said. "What else did he say?" She asked, seeing that there was more to it than that.

"He's worried Voldemort will overthrow the ministry...he said I should warn you to go into hiding 'Mione." Harry met her eyes.

"Because I'm muggle-born..." She said, jaw tightening and chin lifting a bit. She hated that no matter how hard she worked that was all any of them saw.

"No, because you're my friend." Harry countered immediately. "I don't want to see you get hurt because of me." He reached over and touched her hand. "Promise me you'll stay safe."

"Harry..." She started but stopped at the look in his eyes. "I promise." She said and leaned over to hug him. "Just promise me that you will do the same? Stay safe?"

Harry hugged her tightly and nodded. "I will." He'd be with Snape, and surprisingly that was the safest place he could imagine being. The man could be a right greasy git and a total prat, but he'd never let Harry down, not when it had counted. He swallowed thickly and looked at Ron, who was clearly looking very concerned. "That goes for you and your family too Ron, please promise me you'll be careful. " He said as he let go of Hermione and sat back.

"I promise." Ron nodded, seeing that something was wrong but not able to put a finger on it. Together the three friends sat and tried to keep their conversation away from the more painful topics of Voldemort and the murder of Dumbledore.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Severus was sitting with Minerva in the Headmaster's office after the emergency staff meeting. They were both drinking tea. The board of Governors had decided that for the time being Minerva would be named interim Headmistress of Hogwarts. Severus couldn't think of anyone better to safeguard the school.

"I'll be leaving directly after the funeral, Minerva." Severus said at length. He and the old witch may not have always gotten along but he had a great respect for her. "I must get the boy to safety before things get out of hand." She deserved to know that much.

"I had suspected as much. Where will you take him, Severus?" She asked, heart aching for Potter, he'd had such pain in his short life and it didn't seem to have an end in sight.

"I would tell you but, in this at least, the less you know the better." Severus shook his head. "Suffice to say I will protect him, and make sure when the time comes he will be ready for the storm." He knew that Minerva was in the dark about Dumbledore's ultimate plans for the boy. As loyal as she had been to him, she would never have allowed the man to offer Potter up like some sacrificial lamb.

"If anyone can, I know you will. Just be careful out there." She met the younger man's eyes. She had known him as a boy, and still found it hard to think of him as anything but. "Its not just Potter I worry about, Bellatrix tried to kill you too." She said.

"Tried and failed." Severus smirked a little smugly. "I won't take any undue risks, the boy needs me." He added a little more quietly. "I promised Lily I would protect him, and I mean to do just that. If he does come for the school," Severus leaned forward and set a simple chess piece on the desk, "just tap the bishop with your wand and say my name. I will know that you need me here." It was a risk, but she was powerful in her own right.

She took the bishop and smiled a little sadly, tucking it into a pocket inside her robes. "I will only use it if we are in great need. Is there anything I can give you for your journey?" She asked the younger wizard.

"Knowing the school is in your care is enough." Severus said simply. "I know Horace is capable but...keep an eye on my snakes, when you have one to spare." He worried about them, more now than ever.

"I will." She promised, hoping that at the end of this all the man across from her would have a chance for some measure of peace. "Now, you need to get some rest Severus. Check on your students and then make whatever preparations you must." She said.

Severus nodded and stood. "Minerva, thank you for all you tried to do over the years." He said softly. "I know you tried to help where you could."

She nodded, sadness showing on her face. "Potter is not the only one Albus and I failed over the years, Severus, I hope you can forgive me for my own part in it." Her age seemed to tell on her today.

"You were never the one I blamed," Severus said honestly, throat unwillingly tight. "I'd rather leave such things in the past. Dwelling on them helps no one now." He straightened, masks falling into place. He left Minerva McGonagall to her duties so that he could see to his own.

In his rooms he packed away his possessions, shrinking down sixteen years of his life. Regardless of how this ended he knew that it was unlikely he would ever return here. He'd only taught at the school because Albus had blackmailed him to it, a way to keep an eye on the reformed Death Eater. He snorted and continued through his rooms. His took only a few things from his personal stores in the potions room, knowing that anything else was easily replaceable. It took him pretty much the whole of the day to finish and he sat down and looked around his now empty quarters. It was time to close the book on this part of his life. He sat up well into the night, thinking about how he had ended up here, about to go to war with his former Mentor, and wondering if he would survive it.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

After the funeral Harry slipped away from the crowd, and his friends. It was time and he felt his heart in his throat choking him but he knew that this was for the best. Ron and Hermione were both good people, they had families that loved them. He made it unseen to Snape's quarters. He'd shrunk his trunk and all his belongings earlier that morning and they were currently in his pocket. He didn't need to back to the tower for anything else.

"Are you ready Mr. Potter?" Snape asked his charge. For Severus this felt so familiar, like sinking into a steaming hot bath. There was anticipation swirling around him at the thought of being immersed in his chosen art again. He understood, however, that for Harry it would be like jumping off a precipice into the dark, trusting that there would be something to break his fall. It had been like that for him at first.

Harry nodded, swallowing thickly. "I am Sir. Where are we going?" He asked.

"We are going the last place they would ever look," he held out a battered book, "to the Muggle world. Grab hold Mr. Potter." Was all the warning he gave before the portkey activated and yanked them to a deserted alley in London.

Harry felt his head swim and he managed to not be sick. "I hate portkeys." He muttered.

"Given your prior experience with them, I am unsurprised." Severus said and with a flick of his wand transfigured his robes into a pair of jeans, a jumper and a well-worn leather jacket. He did the same to Harry's, making the teen look quite average. "Now hold still, I'm going to apply a glamor, even in the Muggle world they might have spotters." He warned and began a complex enchantment. After a few moments he paused to assess his work. Harry now had sandy blonde hair and his jaw line was softened. For his own reasons he had left the eyes alone, but he'd done enough to fool the casual observer.

Harry felt a little funny, like he'd walked through a spider's web. "This feels odd." He admitted.

"You'll get used to it, eventually." Severus said and then tapped his own temple with his wand and made a sharp flicking motion away from him.

Harry nearly fell over as his professor seemed to be suddenly much younger, all the lines melting off his face and some actual color coming to his cheeks. The yellow skin became merely pale, and his features while still sharp were far from ugly. Harry narrowed his eyes. "You didn't add a glamor…you tossed it away." He said accusingly.

"Most observant, Mr. Potter." Severus smirked and started walking up the alley. "Do try and keep up." He said over his shoulder, long legs covering the ground easily.

"But why?" Harry had to jog to catch his professor, a look of confusion on his altered features.

"Why would I want to look like the great greasy bat of the dungeons?" Severus snorted. "I started teaching at Hogwarts when I was only twenty years old. Do you have any idea how difficult it was to be taken seriously when I looked scarcely older than some of my students?" He said to Harry. "After my first term I employed an ageing glamour, it made things…easier. That is all I will say on the topic." He said as they moved through the crowds, unremarked by the inhabitants of London. They were mere blocks from King's Cross.

Snape led him to a non-descript block of grey brick row houses. It was an end terrace, with simple black iron fence and white casement windows. It looked identical to the others on the street, even down to the color of the front door.

"This is a flat I own, a safe house of sorts." Severus said and let Harry in. The house was furnished but didn't really feel lived in. It seemed to lack any kind of personal touch that most muggle homes had. The walls were off-white and the drapes were beige, nothing to hint at who lived there. Snape took off his jacket and hung it on the coat rack behind the door. "I'll run down to the shops shortly, and get what we need for the next few days at least. There's a guest bedroom you can use, second door on the right at the top of the stairs. You may as well settle yourself in." Severus said, getting used to the feel of being without the glamour around him, it had been a constant companion for the last sixteen years.

Harry nodded. "Yes sir." He was still trying to keep from staring at his professor like he'd grown a second head. The man still radiated a sense of contained malice, but to Harry's eyes he looked much more dangerous now. Not unlike the young Tom Riddle he'd seen in his second year. "Can I ask what we'll be doing here Sir?"

"What, did you imagine we'd be traveling to some obscure place to engage in dark rituals?" Severus sneered, knowing that was precisely what he'd assumed. Foolish Gryffindor. "As with the study of any branch of magic, you need a basis in theory before you attempt the practical. Also, we will need to determine what the remaining horcruxes might be, and where they may be located." Severus said. "For today however, we are simply going to unpack, have dinner, and settle in. If you feel as though you can manage that?"

Harry's cheek colored. "Yes sir, I'll uh go unpack." He muttered and headed up the stairs. The guest bedroom was roomy and had a closet and a large double bed. Harry took his trunk out of his pocket and enlarged it. He took the time to put his clothes in the closet, such as they were. He had precious few clothes that fit him, outside his school robes and uniforms. Perhaps he could get Snape to let him nip into a couple of shops and get some clothes at some point soon. He did set the picture of his parents on the bedside table. He needed something to remind him of why he was doing this. Harry only hoped that he hadn't made a grave mistake trusting Snape.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Anything in italics will denote a memory or dream. I just wanted to say thank-you to everyone that has read/reviewed so far. I can't believe how well this story has been received. Thank you again to all my readers and followers, I hope you enjoy.

Warnings: Vague mentions of slash, if that offends you please read at your own risk.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Harry didn't come down from his new room until the evening, staying out of the adult's way out of force of habit. Snape's words this afternoon had left Harry with the distinct impression that he wanted a bit of space and he had no problem honoring that. However, he was starting to get hungry and decided to finally head downstairs. As he walked down the staircase he paused, seeing his professor's lithe form silhouetted against the window. The main room was dark and the glow from the street lamps below bathed the man in soft light. To Harry's eyes the other man appeared deep in thought.

"There's cold meat and cheese in the fridge, Potter, if you want to make yourself something." The man said without moving an inch. Even in the dark the former Death Eater was entirely aware of his surroundings.

"Thank you, sir." Harry said quickly, cheeks going beet red at being caught staring. It was just so strange to look at Snape like this, try and reconcile his memories with this man. "Um, where is the kitchen, sir?" He blushed again, realizing he actually had no idea where anything in this house was.

In the lamplight a slight smile quirked Severus lips, only a fraction of his usual sneer. "I'll show you." He pushed away from the window and flicked his wand at the lights and they flared to life in response. He walked down the hallway, knowing that Harry would follow. Through a door at the end was a surprisingly modern kitchen.

"When did you buy this place, Sir?" Harry asked. He'd never seen a wizard live in such an ordinary looking house before. It was worlds apart from the Burrow, or even Grimauld Place. The counters were done in smooth butcher block, and the cabinets shone a rich cherry. All of the appliances were in stainless steel and appeared to be of the normal Muggle variety.

"When I left school," he said simply. Those four words neatly skipped over the how and why of the situation. They were messy questions. Why he'd never wanted to return to the dank hole at Spinner's End that he'd grown up in. How his mother's untimely, and in his mind suspicious, death had given him the means to escape his father forever. No, those four simple words were woefully inadequate. "I imagine you'd have done the same, were it not for the war we find ourselves in now." He said.

"Sir?" He blinked, not entirely certain but it felt like Snape was trying to tell him something without stating it openly. He couldn't have known about the Dursley's, not when he'd worked very hard to ensure that no one knew about what happened in the summers. No that was a secret.

"You'll find, Mr. Potter that you and I are far more alike than either of us would care to admit." Snape's voice held a note of sadness to it as he went to the refrigerator and pulled out what they would need to do up some sandwiches. "Now, the refrigerator may look like a common Muggle appliance, but it runs off a stasis charm. Nothing put into it will ever go off." He explained to Potter.

Harry nodded but his attention was firmly on Snape's former comment, as opposed to the latter. "That sounds very handy, Sir." Harry said and started making himself a nice cold ham and cheddar sandwich, adding lettuce and tomato to it. "Would you like one, Sir?" He offered, not used to fixing something just for himself.

"Please, whatever you're having will be fine." Severus said. He was far from a picky eater, stemming no doubt from a childhood when food had not always been plentiful. You ate what you were given and you were thankful for it.

Harry nodded and did a second plate up for his teacher and carried it over to the table. Harry then went and filled the kettle, putting it on for some tea. "What did you mean when you said we were alike Sir?" Harry asked, not liking the ambiguous comment. He and Snape were NOTHING alike.

The man's dark eyes pinned him with a sharp look. "Children from happy, loving homes do not find themselves on this path Mr. Potter. The Dark Arts draws a very specific kind of wizard to its thrall, those of great power and equally great pain. If you truly were the bright shining light that most seem to herald you to be, I would not have needed to put Draco back together in the bathroom that day. Sectumsempra is a dark curse, and like all of the dark arts Mr. Potter, it functions off intent." His voice was softer now.

Harry paled, shaking his head in denial. "I didn't know…"

"And that is the only reason it didn't kill him." Snape said quietly. "Did you never find it strange that I knew the counter-curse for that specific spell?" He arched an eyebrow.

"At the time, no." Harry's eyes had dropped down to his plate. At the time he'd been too shocked by what he had done. Even now he could see Draco laying there, the blood swirling in the water on the floor.

"I knew the counter curse because it was my own spell, Mr. Potter. It was noted in the margins of my sixth year potions text as being for enemies." His eyes were very intense. "That was how I knew that Dumbledore had gotten it so very wrong about you." Severus took a breath and sat back in his chair. "In your heart you felt anger and hate for Draco. The spell sensed your desire to harm him, and so it did."

"You're wrong." Harry's hands were clenched in his lap, knuckles gone white. Even to his ears the protestation sounded weak and shaky. Snape was the Half-blood Prince?

"Never make the mistake of lying to yourself." Severus said simply, but watched him carefully. "When I asked you how far you would go to stop the Dark Lord you said that you would do anything it took to kill him, not stop, defeat, conquer or any other flowery metaphor that the Headmaster often used, but kill." He drove that word home. "You have killed before, to save yourself yes, but the result is the same. I am not some innocent to be placated with your denials; I've been tempered in blood as well." Severus told him. "You can lie to the others but never to me, and never to yourself."

Harry closed his eyes, trying to pretend that this conversation was not happening. He was right, of course, Snape had always seen right through him. He'd killed Quirrell, Tom's memory, and even the ancient Basilisk. "The only one I regret killing was the Basilisk." He forced himself to say, surprised to find it was the truth. "She was centuries old, and had no choice but do what he ordered her to." It had been so horribly unfair to use such a special animal for something so petty as murder.

"Was that why you used the Basilisk fang to destroy the diary? Not to save Ginny Weasley, but to avenge the basilisk?" Snape didn't let up. He loathed doing this, especially to Lily's son, but there was no other way. He needed to make Harry face the darkness inside of him, embrace it completely. Allowing him to hide from this would only destroy him in the end, and likely get them both killed.

"I was avenging us both." He whispered after a torturous long silence. The shrill whistle of the kettle sounded then and Harry stood, escaping to make their tea. It was cowardly but he couldn't stand the heavy silence that was surrounding them, he couldn't meet those glittering black eyes that saw right through him.

Severus let him go, deciding he had pushed enough for the first night. "That was not easy to admit, Harry. You've done well tonight." He gave the young wizard a bit of rare praise. "The Sorting Hat was right, you know." He let the comment slip almost casually, though his motives for saying it were anything but. He and the Sorting Hat had conversations sometimes, Harry had come up often.

"I know." Harry said, back still turned as he spent an inordinate amount of time stirring the tea.

"You would have done well in my house." Severus said. "Though I can understand why it frightened you, given what Hagrid and young Mr. Weasley must have said to you on the way to Hogwarts." He mentally cursed them. He could have had the boy from the beginning, protected him so much better.

Harry sighed and turned, looking at his mentor. "I wonder sometimes how much of my first year was orchestrated, and how much was left to chance." He'd never been good at trusting adults, and the last few years had not improved his view.

"The Headmaster was a skilled chess player, Potter. He had a talent for arranging circumstances to the point where he was convinced the only choice was the one he wished you to make. Never forget that when you remember him." Severus said. "People in your life have pushed you and manipulated you to their own ends. Once you start to realize that, you can anticipate their motives and begin to play your own game."

"What are your motivations then?" Harry sniped back, not liking the one-sidedness of this conversation.

"You tell me. Contrary to my observations at times, I know you have a clever mind somewhere in that head of yours, when you have the incentive to use it." Snape just smirked.

Harry brought the tea over to the table and set it down, realizing that this whole conversation had been a lesson. He sipped his tea and tried to piece together things that his professor had said over the course of the conversation and the few days before they had left Hogwarts. "You told me that this was to honor a promise you made. Who did you make the promise to?" Harry figured it would help him understand Snape's motives.

"The promise was made to your mother." Severus said simply, shields firmly in place so that he would give Harry nothing else to work from.

Harry was stunned. "You knew my mum?"

Severus inclined his head in response. "Very well, actually." He mentally smirked.

"Were you in love with her? Is that why you're helping me?" Harry took a shot in the dark, not sure but at least it would make some sense.

Snape snorted at that. "You'll have to dig deeper than that, Mr. Potter. Think on it for a few days, consider everything you know. The clues are littered through our past interactions like the crumbs on your plate. To piece it together you have only to look at them. Over the course of the next few days, I will allow you to ask me up to three questions, on any topic. I promise to answer them honestly." He said and started on his meal, having set the homework for his young student.

He had loved Lily, just not in the manner Potter was assuming. Of course, everyone from James to Albus had imagined him pining for the beautiful witch, but they had all missed the mark. He had loved her as a sister, the family he'd never had but so desperately had wished for. Lily and her parents had welcomed him in with open arms, given him refuge when they could. Mrs. Evans had always been a kind ear, and tried to give him some of the softness he'd lacked as a boy. Elements keep her, she had tried.

Harry turned to his own meal, trying to think about Snape. He focused more on the man's actions than his words, because in his experience the two rarely seemed to work in concert. He finished his dinner in silence and out of habit rose and carried his dishes to the sink, intent on washing up. Snape's voice cut through the silence and made him pause.

"Just leave it on the side. I suggest you get some sleep as we will be starting your real lessons in the morning. You may eat breakfast at your leisure but be prepared to begin working at ten o'clock." He said.

"Yes Sir, goodnight." He said and headed up to bed. A quick investigation found a bathroom across the hall from his bedroom and he had a quick shower. He was surprised to see there were bottles of shampoo, conditioner and soap on the side. He felt somewhat better afterwards, and ready to curl into his bed. He tried to put the difficult conversation from his mind, ignoring the wounds that Snape had re-opened.

As he shut his bedroom door, however, he found himself leaning against it. His eyes fell closed and he remembered the pain as he'd wrenched the broken Basilisk fang from his arm. He'd heard the mocking tone of Tom Riddle's voice as his life began to slip away. The poison had worked fast and it had hurt so much, like white-hot pokers stabbing through his veins. He'd stabbed the diary, looking at Tom's face as he'd struck the final blow. He remembered the feeling of satisfaction that had flooded through him. Harry had justified it as relief at saving Ginny, but Snape had been right. It had been revenge that had made him strike, both for himself and for the beautiful creature he'd been forced to destroy to save himself. It had been revenge for the hell he'd gone through that year, the whispers and looks as everyone assumed he was the heir. He'd slammed the fang home, certain that if he died….he was going to take Tom to hell with him.

Harry shook himself and managed to get to bed, but his sleep was far from restful. His heart pounded and sweat soaked his sheets and he tossed and turned. He was running through the labyrinth of the chamber, trying desperately to stay a step ahead of his pursuer. It wasn't the Basilisk though, no…it was himself. The Harry Potter chasing him had evil yellow eyes, just like the snake he'd murdered and it hissed angrily at him, robes dripping in blood. He could smell the metallic tang in the air as his other self drew closer and closer. A hand brushed his robes and he shot up in bed.

"NO!" He shouted into the dark, heart hammering so hard he was afraid he was having a heart attack. The cooler air of the room hit his sweaty skin, making him shiver.

There was a soft knock at his door. "Are you all right?" The voice was muffled but he knew who it was.

Harry was shaking harder now but managed to find his voice. "I'm fine." He managed to get out.

The door opened and Snape came in, hair messy as if he'd been in bed and wrapped in a black robe. "If this is fine, I would hate to see your interpretation of unwell." The other wizard said and set a mug of tea on his bedside table. "Nightmares are to be expected, Mr. Potter. I am asking you face some unpleasant truths about yourself and your past, it is only natural it should manifest in your dreams."

Harry ran a hand through his sweaty hair, trying to center himself. "Do you ever…?" He trailed off but it was clear what he was asking.

"Do I ever have unpleasant dreams? All the time, Mr. Potter, all the time." Severus said quietly. He drew his wand and cast a basic refreshing charm on the bedding. "Drink the tea, it will help. Goodnight." Severus said and stood, slipping out of the room almost as though he were in a hurry.

Harry took the mug and sipped it, realizing it was simply chamomile tea with a little honey in it. He stroked a finger along the rim thoughtfully. This was the first time anyone had done something to comfort him after a nightmare. The man was not someone prone to moments of softness but the kind words and mug of tea meant more to Harry than a hug would have. There had been a look of understanding, compassion even on Snape's face. He finished the tea and found it really did make him feel better. He sank down into his now dry sheets and decided to risk a few more hours of sleep. Thankfully nothing else haunted him tonight, letting him get the rest he desperately needed.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

In his own bedroom Severus collapsed back onto his bed and mentally sighed. He'd heard the thrashing and whimpers from Potter's room as the boy had struggled with the monsters in his head. He had known the nightmares would come, he'd just not expected them so quickly. He'd simply let it run its course and gone to make tea, so he could be ready with a little much needed sympathy and a soothing drink to make things seem a bit less bleak. Unless he was much mistaken, Harry had known precious little comfort in his short life. For all he knew about Potter, nothing could have prepared him for the sight of Harry sitting in that bed, the pain and vulnerability shining through his haunting green eyes.

The intense need he'd felt to comfort the boy had frightened Severus, rocked him straight through to his core. As a result he'd fled the room, running from the unpleasant realization that he was not made of stone. He was reminded of just how vulnerable he'd been at first, and how Tom had taken full advantage. No! He was not the Dark Lord, he would not betray the trust Harry had so willingly offered him. Unbidden the memory floated up out of the dark recesses of his mind, swirling before his eyes and sucking him down.

_Severus stood alone in the empty graveyard, rain falling in sheets, soaking everything in sight. The pale teen's eyes were transfixed on a simple slab of limestone that marked the resting place of his mother. It merely read –Eileen Snape, Beloved Wife & Mother- then stated the depressingly short span of her life. It was cold and impersonal. _

"_Severus, I came as soon as Lucius informed me." A concerned voice shattered the still of the graveyard. _

"_I missed her funeral." He managed to say. He'd had to learn about his mother's death from the Headmaster, who'd been contacted by his grandparents lawyer in regards to the Prince family estate. While they had dis-inherited their daughter for marrying a Muggle, apparently they had made provision for the estate to pass to him at the time of her passing. He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. She'd been dead more than two weeks when he'd been told. He'd known something was wrong, she always wrote him on a Friday, had never missed a single one his whole school career. Until now. Now there would be no more letters. _

"_I am so sorry." The voice said, hands coming to rest on the teen's too thin shoulders. "She is free of him at least, that Muggle." There was heat in that single word. _

_Severus felt his control shatter at the touch, sobs shaking his frame. He didn't resist when the man gently turned him and pulled him into an embrace. He felt as though he was bleeding to death inside and nothing could ever stop it. _

"_I'll take care of you Severus, my most special one. He will pay for all he did to her, and you." The voice crooned, a hand stroking the teen's back possessively. "Trust me," was whispered into Severus' ear, willing him to believe it. _

Severus wrenched himself from the memory and shoved it back into the dark space of his mind where he kept the memories of that time. He'd only been sixteen, easy prey for the Dark Lord. Tom Riddle had seen his power, his vulnerability, and he had acted on it. Severus had soaked in the approval and the affection like a sponge, willing to do anything to ensure it continued. Elements save him; he had done so many horrible things just to please that man, things that even now, years and miles away, turned his stomach to recall.

Severus stood and walked to his private bathroom and starting the shower, setting it to just shy of scalding. He could feel the man's hands on him and needed to get it off or he'd never find sleep. He scrubbed at his skin until the water ran pink, the sting of hot water on raw skin replacing the crawling sensation that had been there. Shaking a little he got out of the shower and gingerly dried himself off. The pain helped him remember he was alive and in the present, not lost in his past.

tbc


End file.
